a haiku about most of my pencils

jaclcfrost:

a second ago

had you a second ago

what the fucking shit

sherlockisthenight:

50-shades-of-thorin:

deppsex:

but why would you even give him the waterbed

he had scissors

for hands

scissors

I LOVE HOW THIS DOESN’T EVEN MENTION WHAT IT’S ABOUT BUT EVERYONE KNOWS.

who else has fucking scissors for hands

memyselfandhate:

iamonlydorb:

sucysucyfivedolla:

the inside of your butt is warm enough to hardboil an egg

oh no I’m not falling for this one again

what

uneducated-intelligence:

hungarian:

nowhere in the bible does it say god is not a burrito

But the bible does say that we where all created in god’s image so if god were a burrito wouldn’t we all look like a burrito ?

chefboyardeezie:

banjo-jeff:

chefboyardeezie:

when im rich the first thing im doing is getting laser hair removal on every inch of my body that isn’t my head

you’ll look pretty funny without eyebrows

im at least 3% sure that my eyebrows r on my head

how do some people describe how they’re feeling so easily i can’t even order mcdonalds without fucking up

toadlyoko:

So in middle school we weren’t allowed to have any drinks aside from water but I kept sprite or the clear kool aid in a water bottle and felt like I was someone who made moonshine during the prohibition era. 

earthnation:

will u still love me when im no longer young and ok looking

goblinparty:

I’m constantly torn between the ‘be kind to everyone’ and the ‘fuck everyone you owe them nothing’ mentalities 

rabioheab:

earlier this year 2 boys got expelled from my school for going on a teachers email and sending another teacher an email that says “you’re a disgusting little man” and i laugh about it all the time because imagine opening an email from your coworker and thinking it’s important and then it says that